Sunday, November 30, 2008

Blurry

I went and played with the new camera yesterday, a lot. I quickly realized that I have to find a book and do some reading because this is more camera than I know what to do with. I went to the park, and got some pretty decent shots considering I was just popping off random things. I realized I absolutely love having that extra 55-200mm lens. After my clinical yesterday I drove down to the river walk since they have all their Christmas lights up. I realized very quickly the camera is a whole 'nother beast after dark. It just seemed like I couldn't get a well focused picture no matter how hard I tried. I probably should have taken the tripod with me, but it was a spur of the moment decision to go down there. I don't know what setting to adjust to make it take the picture faster, it seems like it would be a shutter priority setting that had to be changed, but I really don't know. Here's what I'm talking bout....
This image is clear for the most part, but the lighting SUCKS.












I like the lighting much better on this picture, it gives a better feel for what it really looked like...but I tried over thirty times and could not get a crisp image at all!

Friday, November 28, 2008

Shiny new stuff

I made a huge impulse buy today.....
I bought a NikonD60
In my defense, it was a great deal. I got the camera body, a Nikkor 18-55mm VR lense came with it. I also got a 55-200mm Nikkor VR lense. And a carrying case for the camera, that came with an instructional DVD.....all to the tune of a little over $700.
I think it was a pretty good deal, but now I find myself in a quandry. I don't know what I'm doing when it comes to a DSLR, all I've ever had were point-and-shoots. I know that this camera is capable of doing some great stuff, but I don't know if I know how to make it do all that. I'll be playing with it over the next few weeks, maybe I'll post some stuff up here. If anyone has some deep dark success secrets, my ears are wide open.

Sunday, November 23, 2008

Should I stay or should I go?

I played this song a few times on rock band today..it wasn't pretty...

But this is not a rock band post...

I got my basic in May of 2008. Meaning, I'm very new to the EMS thing. I breezed through class with no problem, and I love being on the truck. I'm green, but who isn't straight outta school? I'm also in paramedic school right now. Next month I'll be able to test at the intermediate level. I've reached a bit of a crossroads for myself, I'm trying to decide whether to finish the paramedic section, or stop for a while and get some experience. Part of me really wants to go on and just get it over with.
Then, there's the part of me that is scared. I'm scared of allowing myself to go straight through. I don't feel nearly as confident with my skills and knowledge this time. I don't want to go straight through if I'm going to just be a mediocre medic. If I'm going to do it I want to excel. Nor do I want to go straight through and end up hurting someone cause I don't have any of the common sense that comes with experience. I don't know if I'm ready to be in charge.
So...I think I might have made my mind up to stop for a while and finish my basic classes. I just don't know. I wish I knew what I should do. But I don't, and I can't even make up my mind for what I want to do...

Friday, November 21, 2008

Nada

I really don't have anything blogworthy to post about....nothing at all....
I take my national registry for the intermediate level in less than a month and I'm scared shitless...
After being employed with "the man" for two months...I'm finally being allowed to answer the phones, and this is harder than the other phone jobs I've had.
We've got skills practice in class tonight...which means a short class hopefully.
I miss being on the truck, I'm working to rectify that situation, probably not til I get my intermediate though.
I still wonder daily if I've got what it takes to be a medic...
I think helicopters are being grossly misused in our industry, and I worry bout my friends up there in the sky.
I think thats bout it.

Monday, November 17, 2008

I didn't save any lives today

I didn't save any lives today. No CPR, no drug pushing, no order barking, not even any extricating. I wasn't there in someone's deepest time of need, nor was I the angel rushing in to save the day. What I did was far different.
I held the hand of a young lady who wanted to die, and let her talk, I listened without judgment.
I talked with a woman who was pregnant for the first time. She was alone and scared, and I didn't do anything clinically for her, but we compared experiences, and joked about her husband, and the great hospital food. In the middle of her fear and worry, she was able to laugh and enjoy her day, at least for a few minutes while I was at the bedside.
So, no, I didn't save a life today, but I could certainly go for another day like today.

Sunday, November 16, 2008

First time on the range

Gun range that is....

I convinced my dad(I'm only 20 so I can't go by myself) to go to the gun range with me today. I've never shot a handgun and was a little nervous about it but wanted to start trying to find a gun that I like so I can practice with it before getting my CHL...
First we shot a rented .380 bersa Concealed carry version. I liked that the gun was small enough that it comfortably fit in my hand. It didn't have much kick at all, which is something I was very nervous about. And I liked that the trigger was very easy to pull, barely touched it and the gun would fire. I was even relatively accurate with the gun after getting in a few warm up shots.
Next, we shot my dad's Beretta 9mm. I liked this gun as well. There was still minimal kick back to it. It was a little harder to hold, but not enough to effect me. This gun jammed several times, but my dad said it was because he hadn't cleaned it in a while. It jammed with both of us, so I'm thinking it's not just me. The trigger was much stiffer on this gun, there were a few times I thought it had jammed but just wasn't pulling hard enough after getting used to the .380. My accuracy was a little bit better with this gun, but the laser sight probably had something to do with it.
I'm still planning on trying to get out and try a few more guns. The glocks have been spoken highly of, and I've been told repeatedly not to get a .380 or 9mm. My dad told me today that he wants me to get a revolver instead of a semi-auto because he's been told that the semi-auto's jam with females. I personally plan on at least testing my CHL on a semi-auto so that I can carry either one, and I like the idea of the semi-auto more myself. Still got some time to decide...

Friday, November 14, 2008

History behind the name...

For some reason I keep getting questions about the title of my blog...I would have thought it was obvious..but I guess I'll elaborate on it for the curious....

As I said a few posts back, I've had my basic cert for all of six months. I'm also short, and I don't look like I'm as old as I am...
There were several calls while I was with little private service where I would go get up front to drive and have a family passenger sitting in the cab already, and as I got in the driver seat they would look at me with the most serious face and ask, "So how old are you?" and once they got their answer, the next question was immediately, "And, uh, just how long have you been doing this." If it was a good day they usually got a smart ass answer, that this was the first time I'd ever driven the truck, or that I just got my cert yesterday...usually it brought on a laugh, other times a concerned look until I clarified....
I've been doing my ride-outs for the intermediate section of my class, and part of the ride outs is that we are required to have 5 IV sticks in the field, and five in the hospital. Maybe I look nervous, because most times I'm about ready to shit myself, but it seems every time I go to start an IV they ask if I've done this before. One poor soul even went so far as to tell me that I look like I'd do a good job at the stick and he felt good about me doing it...I didn't tell him that he was my first stick outside of class, and I certainly didn't tell him that I'd never tried a stick in the back of a moving truck...but I guess he was right, I got him, with minimal blood-letting even...
So...there it is in a nutshell for all you curious folk....Sorry it's not a more exciting story...Maybe one day I'll have some more interesting stories for ya...

I want a gun

More specifically, a pistol...

My 21st birthday is rapidly approaching, and I want to get my CHL. The problem...I've never shot a handgun. Santa clause brought me a little .410 when I was younger. I've shot plenty of shot guns, but never a handgun. I don't even know where to begin. I've been told not to waste my time on a 9mm. I don't want something crazy powerful, I'm a tiny person and I think my hand size will complicate the choice. I do want something that's going to stop someone if I ever get in a situation where I have to use it. Ideally, I'd never have to, but if the need arises I want that option. So far people have suggested,

HK P2000 SK
.40 cal glock 27
.40 cal glock 22
Walther P99
Lady Smith M&P subcompact

I'm hoping to go out and shoot some tomorrow since I finally have a day with no work, clinical, or school to do. I think I'm leaning toward one of the glocks or the HK...but I really can't say without shooting first I don't suppose...

Wednesday, November 12, 2008

Senseless

I've been an EMT for six months today. I've learned more in those six months than I have my entire life. I've pushed myself harder, walked into more awkward situations, and been privy to more private moments than I would like to admit. I've flashed more smiles, patted more backs, shook more hands, and dolled out more hugs to strangers than I thought I would.
I'm about 3 months into paramedic school, I'll be an intermediate next month. My rotations and ride-outs are in full swing right now. Last night I was at one of the trauma centers(we have three in town) here doing an ER rotation. We were busy. Three patients were flown in while we were there, and we had three "majors" brought in by EMS.
I was sitting in the parking lot before my shift started reading a book, Life, Death, and everything in between. Great book, but don't buy it when you've got things you need to do, I can't put it down. Anyways, I was in the parking lot, and I heard the helicopter take off, so I had an inkling we'd at least be getting one back during our shift. About fifteen minutes into shift they came in with an 18-month old little girl with second and third degree burns on about 25% of her body. I never got the whole story, but from what we were told one of her parents poured some form of hot liquid on her. She didn't stay in the ER long, her vitals were stable so they shipped her up to the Pedi floor pretty quick.
Not long after EMS brought in a 3wk old baby who wasn't belted into her car seat and fell out of a buggy(shopping cart for you northerners), the baby landed face down, head first with the car seat on top of her. She was fine, had an area of redness on her head, so she went to CT and I believe was released a few hours later.
Next we had another trauma flown in from about 10 minutes away, another post for another day on abuse of HEMS, he was a motorcycle vs car. His leg was sliced up pretty good, with a splinter of his femur showing in one of the lacs, he had bilateral fractures to his radius and ulna, as well as a hemapneumothorax, with altered mental status tossed in there to keep things interesting. His vitals remained stable, but he was in a lot of pain. What really caught me was that this was just a kid, he was only 18.
There were two cases brought in next, a transfer flown from south Texas, nail in the neck thanks to a nail gun, he was stable and I didn't get to spend much time with him. EMS also brought in a guy who played chicken with a car...on his bicycle...we had a more critical patient come in shortly afterward so I didn't get to spend any time with him either.
They brought in a 22 year old male who was taken to the fire-station by his mother when he passed out in the car on the way to the hospital. He had been having difficulty breathing for three weeks, asthmatic. He had agonal respirations when they brought him in. I heard the report when they said agonal respirations I immediately thought back, Agonal=imminent death...As EMS rolled him into the room, he was certainly having agonal respirations, he was working so hard to breathe, and when he got transferred on to the hospital bed he sat bolt up-right and started fighting. You could see the panic in his eyes, he clawed at his chest and tried in vain to gasp for air. He was immediately given a nebulizer with no improvement, still had wheezes in all four, so the decision was quickly made to RSI and intubate him. This was the first time I'd seen RSI used, and the first time I'd watched a real person be intubated. I've intubated countless dummie's, but it's a whole 'nother ball game on a real person. The doc looked like he was having trouble, but said he had the tube, we got positive color change and bilateral breath sounds but he was very hard to bag. We kept bagging until RT got down and got the vent set up, but he was still hard to ventilate and his CO2 was climbing, so they did a chest compression to force the patient to exhale, then he would be ventilated a bit then compressed. The doctor called it an "air trap" He described it as the patient was so constricted from asthma that he couldn't exhale. We got blood labs back and the patient's PH was six, as I left the ER for the night, they were still fighting a losing battle on trying to ventilate the patient.

So, it was a very interesting night in the ER to say the least. But, on nights like that, I can't help but go home and question the senselessness of it all...
Patient 1: Suffering child abuse at the young age of 18 months....how someone can pour boiling liquid on their own child, I'll never understand...
Patient 2: An honest mistake, but one that didn't have to happen...
Patient 3: He's 18 and his life will never be the same. Speed and wet roads are a bad mix, and unfortunately it seems to take things like this to teach people otherwise.
Patient 4: We found out that he had a history of heroin abuse, and had used recently. He had been given narcan, but between the respiratory depression and status asthmaticus...the doctors didn't have much hope of getting him back.

Is it wrong that I get angry when I see people battered and bruised, on the verge of death, when I know it's due to negligence or stupidity? I know it will never stop, but already, in a short six months, it's frustrating to watch the needless suffering that people put themselves through. I guess I probably shouldn't worry to much about it, and just hope that in a few months when the state hands me that little piece of paper that I'll be good enough in a few years to help in the aftermath...

Monday, November 10, 2008

Picture post....

I'm a wannabe photographer...I'm not so good at it, but these are some that I snapped at an air-show a few weeks ago.














































These aren't all by far...but I don't wanna overload the page with pictures...I've still got a lot to learn as you can see.

Sunday, November 9, 2008

New to the blogsphere....

I've been silently reading the blogs to my left <-- for several months, and decided I would finally jump in here. There's no better way to introduce yourself than a survey...so here ya go guys.

THE BASIC STUFF

Whitley M. C.
20 for a few more months
3-17-1988
a dark brown color with blonde highlights
I like it right now.
Hazel
Nope I love my eyes
No, I'm short

ABOUT YOUR FAMILY

Father, mother, two brothers-I'm in the middle and only girl
Married
Sometimes
21
Neither really...But mommy's girl I guess
Just because, not sure really.
I wouldn't mind it too much I don't think

OPPOSITES ATTRACT

Handsome, loyal, sweet, honorable
Dark
Dark
At least my height but not towering over me
No preference, but would like them to be in shape
Eyes/hair
Mentality of most
I wouldn't know
I wouldn't know
trust

YOUR FUTURE

Yes, and whenever it happens, I'm in no rush, but wouldn't mind it.
On my way to be a paramedic, possibly on to nurse afterwards
several
both
I don't know yet
Prolly texas
Not really
Not really given a lot of thought to it

YOUR EDUCATION

San Antonio College
I dunno...a lot
No time for friends
Sophomorish/juniorish
Troup
Troup
Troup/Judson
I am
San Antonio college apparently, and also apparently for EMS
nope
nope
nope
I did

MISCELANEOUS

Blue
TruTv
Not really, Dog the bounty hunter, SVU
I have lots
Don't really have a favorite

THIS OR THAT

? Myspace
? Vanilla
? Neither
? Neither
? NSYNC
? Christina
? Both
? Rock
? Country
? English
? Winter
? Outside

RANDOM

Nah
Back or navy
Lots of stuff
Something fun and non-formal
Sure
Stretch..so I could reach stuff
Height, weight


So if you didn't catch that, I'm a 20 yr old EMT-B in the state of Texas and am currently taking the paramedic courses at my local community college. I will actually be testing for intermediate next month. I currently work for "the man" in dispatch. I worked at a small private service this summer but we had some disagreements and I left there with haste. I'm in the middle of doing all my ride out and clinical hours so if my posting is sparce that is why. Hopefully I'll come up with some stuff worthy of posting soon, any questions about who I am feel free to drop a comment or somethin.

Thursday, November 6, 2008

For Albert

Pepaw...as far back as I can remember. He was the gentle giant, standing at almost 6'5'' he towered above me my entire life. There were plenty of threats through childhood, but he never raised a hand to me. He taught me just about everything I know about dogs, and hunting. He encouraged me to chase my dreams, and led a Godly example before me. I remember days inside running around on all four's pretending I was a walker coon hound. I remember the excitement of turning the hounds loose after we'd released a coon, the cold mornings as we went out to check the traps. I remember the hours spent driving through the country looking for the dog that didn't come back after the hunt. There were endless days spent looking through the hunting magazines, cleaning guns. As I got older we fed the dogs every day(he had at minimum 8, at most over 20 depending on the time of year). As I grew up I began helping him build cages for the hounds, or I'd move them around when need be, I'd go and feed all of them so he could rest as his age began to show, for a few years I even helped him give shots, starting as the head-holder, and moving up to the shot-giver once his arthritis kicked in. After we moved out of Troup, I never saw him as much, not nearly enough, but I missed him for sure. Every time I would call and talk to him he would tell me not to get a boy friend here in San Antonio, that I needed to date a country boy and move back. I wish I would have visited more. I kick myself daily for that.
I remember clearly the night when it all started. I was sleeping soundly but suddenly I heard voices, and the garage door raise. I jumped out of bed and ran out of my room thinking my mom was going back to the hospital, but was told it was my grandfather who was in the hospital five hours away. I wish now I would have gone with them. Instead I stayed home to feed our own anmials and so that I could keep working, it was a sleepless night. Followed by a few more sleepless nights. Sunday morning I got up and my mom finally told me I needed to make my way there. His kidneys were failing, he'd had a heart attack and was going into heart failure. This was probably going to be it. I gathered my things and had a few errands to run before I left town. My mother told me not to drive fast, but I pushed 90mph the whole drive just praying that a cop wouldn't bother me and that the old man would make it long enough for me to say goodbye. There were times where I cried so hard I could barely see the road ahead of me but I kept driving. I finally got there and as soon as I got out of my car, I knew he was gone. My heart broke into a million pieces right there, but I didn't cry in front of my family. I kept my big girl face on and went about the day. Helping write his obituary was one of the hardest things I'd done in my life. We went and picked out the flowers, then the casket. The night of the visitation was hard on everyone. This was the first time I'd seen my father truly cry. But I still kept my big girl face on. Thinking back, maybe I should have "broke" sooner. I didn't really cry until the funeral, we played "When I get where I'm going" and that was it, I couldn't hold it in any longer. It was hard saying goodbye to someone who had been your everything for so long. He was my hero, my confidant, my inspiration. There were times I got in a fight with my mother as a child because I didn't want to leave his house. And he's gone. I'm still here, and I only hope that one day, I'll matter that much to a kid.....